I had attempted to program the posting of the blog last week, as I went on a little trip with some buddies to Boston. Apparently, it didn’t work! Now I know better and won’t attempt to do it again!
Today’s post hits really close to home as my wife is dealing with a long distance caregiving of her mom in Florida. Inasmuch, that she will be travelling there this week to continue her self-assigned duty,
Giving care to an elderly parent is no easy chore, There are so many factors involved that affect not only the elderly person being cared for but, mainly for the caregiver.
Now, caregiving takes on many different circumstances such as; living assistance to total daily care and with the variety of “elderly” illnesses that we constantly read about, the amount of care also varies. Many caregivers have families that include children which, at one point or another, will feel cheated of the attention that they were used to or, for that parent not being at their baseball game, dance recital, or any other activity they once did. This can also affect the spouses and even marriages. Open discussion with these family members can help ease the stress that this can cause.
There are a lot of caregivers that are really unappreciated by those receiving the care. The elderly parent insists on continuing to be the parent and is the provider of the “Guilt trip” syndrome to the caregiver, It seems that they do not understand that their best interest is the objective and that any difficult decision is made with love. This also includes other family members that would take your hard work for granted, giving them an “out” on helping.
There are times when some harsh words are spoken due to frustration…and that will happen! Don’t suppress your feelings because you are doing the best that you can
Some of my personal friends are in this situation where they think that sacrificing their lives is their only mission and do so without seeking help!
For those that are still in the workforce, under the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act, companies with 50 employees or more must allow up to 12 weeks of leave to an employee in order for it to take care of a seriously ill parent or spouse. More than likely that the leave will be unpaid but, your job will be secure. Check with your Human Resources department to find out the details.
In the end, no matter how much the caregiver gives, he/she always believes they could have done more.
To those who are giving care to a loved one, please, PLEASE, remember you too, have a life! Share the load, seek help, if you must and if help is offered, accept it.
Tough subject but, a very common one among my friends.
Take care and see you soon at “The Over 50 Corner”. Remember that your comments and topic suggestions are greatly appreciated!