Is it our fault?

Hello again friends…sorry for the absence but, there have been quite a few things going on that have gotten in the way of my posting.

But, with that in mind. let me tell you what has been going on.

As you may know by my previous posts, I still have family in Puerto Rico living without the assurance that there will be electricity to light their home tonite.

Well, my daughter, D. and her family, has opened her home to my nephew, his wife and two daughters for their relocation to Cedar Park, Texas. The girls, 10 & 7 yrs. old, as expected,  are adjusting well with the help of my two granddaughters, which are almost the same age as they are.  To their mom and dad, again, as expected, this move has brought them challenges that need to be met so, not as easy for them. (Especially with the cold snap that just hit Texas yesterday vs. the tropical warm breezes of the Caribbean they are used to.)

To add to that, my son M. lives in Los Angeles, California where the forest fires are just on the other side of the mountain.  So, he says he has a bag packed on-the-ready in case he has to head “out-of-town” at a moment’s notice.

Ok, now for our subject…Is it our fault?

Time Magazine’s award to the “Me Too” movement is well deserved. This movement has opened the door to those who were victimized, giving them the courage to air their grievances and name names.  Maybe it’s just me but, I have noticed that all of the men accused of sexual harassment or inappropriate sexual behavior are in the over 50 age group.

You know the names so, there is no use in repeating them here.

Was it really the “unspoken” business culture that women, in order to advance in their field of endeavor, were to give in to the favor requests of their male superiors?

Apparently, yes.  But, why did these ladies wait until now to bring it to the light of day?  Why was it not shouted from the rooftops, that so-and-so subjected them to this unjustified behavior back then? Was it a conspiracy among men?  Well, there might be a few dozen answers to that.

One thing I am sure of is, it did not start in the 60’s, 70’s or 80’s!  This started a long time before that!  The sad thing is that there are very few people from that era left to join in the conversation, to let us know what really went on back then.

Where or how did the male baby boomers learn this?  I sure didn’t!  Was it because the male was the “head of the household” and there were more housewives than women in the work place?  Was dad the first and last word at home?  Was “machismo” the understood law of the home and the office?

I know for a fact the “machismo” culture is alive and well in Latin and South America. As I was in charge of the Latin American division of the company I worked for, it gave me the opportunity to visit all but two countries in this region.  Yes, I saw it for myself.  The position that I held, gave me the authorization to set the rules and standards for our offices in these countries.  The first one written in stone was…No Machismo! They worked for an American firm and that behavior was not to be condoned!   No ifs, and’s or but’s!  Local customs were not meant for this office. Some learned and some did not! Those that did not, were soon gone!

Yet, here at home, more and more men over 50. in all walks of life, are being accused of acting badly… so, maybe, it is our generation’s fault.  Sad.

I would really like to know your opinion on this subject or any other you may think of.

Take care and I will attempt to make our next meeting a more humorous one.

See you next time at “The Over 50 Corner”




2 thoughts on “Is it our fault?

  1. First, let me say that I enjoy your posts very much; I can always relate and find them very relevant. I’m sorry to hear about your family in Puerto Rico, and now the fires in California where your son could be affected. It’s been a tough 2017, and I’m looking forward to a better, milder, and kinder 2018.

    But now allow me to give you my humble opinion about the important matter you address on this post from the standpoint of a baby boomer woman. You are so right in saying that this didn’t start with our generation, and there’s plenty of evidence in history to support that notion. After all, the world started out as a man’s world. It has been a tough climb for women, and we are still making our way up in the ladder of equality, fairness, and justice. It wasn’t that long ago that we couldn’t vote here in the US, and don’t get me started of how women are treated in other parts of the world.

    Back to the topic at hand of why women have waited so long to come forward and tell their stories, it is more complicated than we would like to think. I think it has to do with power and advantage over fear, shame, and helplessness. I believe we have now reached that tipping point where women have gained the courage to say “enough!” and are now ready to tackle the abuse of power and privilege that some men think they are entitled to hold. I absolutely know there are a lot of good men out there, including the ones in my family.

    Just like we fought a horrible civil war to end slavery, just like we endured a painful desegregation movement to get to the Civil Rights Act of 1965, just like our gay community had to come out of the closet to fight for equality, and so many other movements have had to come to the forefront to advance fairness and justice in our culture and in our country, this is the time when women will not tolerate abuse of power and sexual harassment anymore. I personally had a very unfortunate incident with a doctor when I was 22 years old. I told my family, but no one was sure if what he had done was inappropriate since he was a doctor, so nothing was done about it. I’m sure that doctor is dead now, but if that man was running for senator or president of the United States, I would certainly have the courage today, 45 years later, to come forward and tell my story.

    Yes, it is not a simple matter, but I hope that women move forward and not tolerate this abuse anymore, just like you cannot put the toothpaste back in the tube, gays back in the closet, and blacks back in chains.

    Let’s all hope for a better 2018. Please continue to write. Take care and best regards to your beautiful family.



    1. Dear Mayra…Thank you so much for your in-depth and accurate opinion of today’s topic. It hurts me to know that you were affected by the insensitivity of a medical doctor in years past. A person who took the oath to help his patients, not to abuse or injure them. I hope, for everyone’s sake, that those in authoritative positions, learn to respect the rights of women for which they have sacrificed and worked so hard to achieve. Fred


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